We talked last time about involving kids in your decision making. If you have ever been involved in the perilous decision on where to have dinner this discussion is for you! If you have not here is how it goes, all 5 of us are in the car.

  • Parent1: Where do you want to eat?
  • Parent2: I don’t know, Where do you want to eat? Hey kiddos Where do you want to eat?
  • Kid 1: How about Hibachi?
  • Kid 2: EWWWEEE How about Pizza?
  • Kid 3: We just had Pizza – What about Chic-Fil-A?
  • Parent 1 – Chic-Fil-A is too far – where did we go last time? Who decided Last time?
  • Parent 2 – how about burgers?
  • Kid 2 – how about Mexican?
  • Kid 1 – I can’t every find anything like at Mexican places
  • 30…Minutes later
  • Parents exhausted by the discussion …LEFTOVERS it is!

One of my favorite quotes about decision making is

The road to indecision is paved with dead Squirrels

Actively looking for author

We have adopted that the idea of being a squirrel means you are avoiding a decision. When we clearly recognize that one of our “Fammates” is being a squirrel – we call it out.

Fammates = Family + Teammate

Yes we also made up our own words. It works. When we see that one of our Fammates is not making a decision or avoiding a decision we call SQUIRREL!

The amazing thing about a squirrel moment is, calling ‘Squirrel’ makes us acknowledge our inability to make a decision. I find that a lot of times in life, me included, we shy away from decisions. I was blessed enough to have had an amazing Dad that coached me through decisions. He set an example for me, though we did not yet have the squirrel metaphor, he totally understood it. Here’s an excerpt from one of my discussions with my Dad – to illustrate the teaching that occurred.

  • JJ -Dad, what would you do (regarding a decision, but I won’t bore you with the details)
  • Dad – I can’t tell you what the right answer is, I can’t make the decision for you
  • JJ(sarcastic/snarky child) – But Dad, you know everything!
  • Dad -What led you to that conclusion? (knowing he was talking to his sarcastic child and not willing to bite – Squirrel!)
  • JJ (sarcastic/snarky child) – What the hell Dad, You have been telling me since I was a teenager that you knew everything! And now that I am ready to believe you, you are telling me different?
  • Dad – Welcome to Adulting… (Well played Dad, Well Played)
  • My dad and I did have a discussion about the decision and talked through the pros and cons. He gave me the gut check that my thinking was sound. And as he eluded to: he didn’t make the decision for me, but he coached me the whole way. My dad was an amazing man, and hoping I can follow in his footsteps, someday.

Acknowledging you are avoiding a decision is a huge step into actually making a decision. Let’s examine the example of going out to dinner. At the first sign of someone saying “I don’t know, what do you think”, we will unanimously shout “SQUIRREL”. The person that is being a squirrel now has to either agree they are avoiding a decision, or they are not. Sometimes that person will announce “Yep, you are right, Squirrel all the way, I just don’t have a preference” Magic just Happened. That person just made a decision and abdicated their input to where we go eat. Even if that person says they don’t have an opinion and don’t want to be part of the process – MAGIC – a decision has been made, not avoided.

This is a simple silly example of the age-old dilemma of where to eat. This same decision has brought marriages, friendships to the brink of existence have been temporarily abated in #TeamJackson with a Squirrel.

Seriously speaking, Once you acknowledge that you are avoiding a decision, it is much easier to understand what obstacles are standing in your way to make the decision. What information you need that you may not have, what fear or hurdle do you need to confront. From here the toolboxes are endless on how to start dissecting the decision, and to that many books have been written. The first step in any decision is looking at the Squirrel, who maybe you in the mirror and acknowledge you have to decide which side of the road you are heading for. In #TeamJackson by calling Squirrel, we are holding each other accountable for being honest with ourselves about avoiding decisions.

Squirrel! We will try again tomorrow!

Fortuitious! Made this squirrel for my dad when i was in middle school. It was in his office until he passed away and now it is in mine. How appropriate.