I wanted to take a moment and discuss why I started this blog. I have three very bright children, and as a mom, I want nothing more than for my kiddos to succeed (Definition of success is another post). It became apparent very early on with my kids, that most people’s normal was not our normal. Our children were several steps ahead of us, all the time. These same children’s time were trapped in a school system that boded everyone as average. Average is an amazing place to be! There is nothing wrong with being average, I was! However, when a child falls outside the average, life becomes hard and awkward. An unkind place. As a parent, I feared the thought of being labeled as ‘That parent’. As I watched the world around my children exclude them and try to fit the square peg into the round hole, the fear of being that parent dissipated. I was their mom, to whom they have been entrusted by God. Right or wrong, my only choice was to learn the rules of engagement in the public school system and fight for my kids. Thanks to my dearest and best friend KS. She is the sole reason my kids are successful and to whom I owe so much beyond words. She taught me to learn the education laws of the county and state. She taught me how to fight back and to get a square hole for a square peg. I had to learn Georgia law, obtain an advocate on my children’s behalf, and obtain/fight for a 504 plan for them.

A little background before I go on will probably help. Being diagnosed with ADHD in college was an eye-opening experience. College went from being near impossible to easy once I learned to study as my brain worked. An ADHD mind works very differently than the normal mind. The trick is to learn like your brain needs to learn. Because of the struggles I experienced in college when I had children, I didn’t want them to have the same troubles. It also should be noted that I recognized the same characteristics of ADHD in my husband though he has not been formally diagnosed. Through research, I learned that when both parents have ADHD their child has an 85% chance of having ADHD. As soon as reasonable, I requested that my children were tested. If my children tested positive for ADHD, I wanted them to learn coping strategies as a way of life and not struggle the way I did. As it so happened, all 3 have a form of ADHD. This diagnosis was key to achieving their 504 plan. While not an IEP, the 504 plan allowed Special K (my husband) and I to direct their learning and their coping strategies.

So why is all of this important? Because it sets the stage for parenting children. It sets the stage for being “that” parent, for being a well-balanced helicopter parent, but most importantly it sets the stage for being an involved parent. I make no excuses and pray a whole lot that I am am the parent my kids need me to be for their success as an adult.

It wasn’t easy to learn the laws, it wasn’t easy to have the hard conversations about what my child needs and to be THAT parent. As my kids will tell you, one of my favorite sayings is

If it were easy, Everyone would do it

Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own

“if it was easy, everyone would do it” ( Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own ). Here’s the thing, Special K and I made the decision to have children. We both believe that when we did, we made the decision the decision to be a parent. We made the choice. With that decision our goals became secondary. Our primary commitment is being a parent and everything it brings with it. My goal of being a CEO, yep its on hold. His goal of a golf PRO, yep! On hold. We are parents! If you haven’t experienced it to the fullest, parenting is more fulfilling than I ever thought it could be. I have no regrets. God trusted me with 3 souls to nurture and develop under his guidance. Is there any greater or more noble responsibility? Simply put. No.

So that brings me back to this blog. Why? We have learned so much if we can help others learn from our experience, imagine the possibilities. I am passionate about being a parent and being what my children need me to be in the moment and in the future. I by no means am perfect, and Special K and I often fall short, that’s why being a family and a team is so important. With a team we pick each other up, we keep going #TeamJackson

We will try again tomorrow….